Revise Sentences for Clarity and Style

Expand, combine, reduce, and revise sentences to improve meaning, audience fit, fluency, and clarity while preserving intended content.

How the lesson starts: Revise Sentences for Clarity and Style

Pico's choppy diary
Pico the parrot keeps a nature diary. But his sentences are short and choppy. The sun was hot. The ice melted. Squawk! Let's help Pico join two short sentences into one smooth one.
Pick the joining word
First, ask how the two ideas connect. Does one cause the other? Use a comma and so. Do they just add together? Use and. Do they disagree? Use a comma and but. The sun was hot. The ice melted. The heat caused the melting!
Build the sentence
Pico builds it. The sun was hot, comma, so the ice melted. The comma goes after hot. Now the second part starts with a small T. It's in the middle of the sentence. The but tile doesn't fit, so it stays out.